What Should I Say When Booking Therapy? A Guide to Making That First Call

Written by: Moriah Veer, Training & Development Manager

Starting therapy can feel intimidating before you ever sit down with a therapist. For many people, one of the hardest parts is simply making that first phone call or sending that first email.

You may find yourself wondering: What am I supposed to say? How much do I have to tell the person who answers the phone? Do I need to know what’s wrong with me? What if I choose the wrong therapist? And how much is all of this going to cost?

In my experience helping new patients connect with mental health services at Dr. Goldberg & Associates, these concerns are incredibly common. People are often hesitant to share personal details with someone they’ve never met, especially an administrative team member rather than the therapist they’ll eventually see.

The good news is that you don’t need to have everything figured out before you book therapy.

You don’t need a diagnosis. You don’t need to know which type of therapy you need. You don’t need to have your treatment goals written down. And you certainly don’t need to tell an administrative staff member your entire life story.

You just need to start the conversation.

What Do I Say When I Call to Make a Therapy Appointment?

You can keep it very simple.

You might say:

“Hi, I’ve been thinking about starting therapy, but I’ve never done this before and I’m not really sure what I need.”

That’s enough.

If someone said that to me, my response would essentially be: We’re so glad you reached out.

We know it can take courage to take that first step, and helping you navigate what comes next is part of our job. Once you’ve made the call or sent the email, we’ll ask questions to better understand what you’re looking for.

All you have to do is answer as honestly as you feel comfortable, and we’ll work together to find someone who may be able to support you.

Do I Have to Explain Why I Need Therapy?

This is one of the biggest concerns I hear from prospective patients.

The answer is no—you don’t have to tell our administrative team everything you’re going through.

Your reasons for seeking therapy may be deeply personal. It is completely understandable if you aren’t ready to explain those experiences to a stranger over the phone.

At the same time, giving us some general information can help us make better provider recommendations.

You might simply tell us:

• “I’ve been struggling lately, and I don’t know why.”
• “I don’t feel like myself anymore.”
• “I’m having trouble getting out of bed.”
• “I’ve been feeling overwhelmed all the time.”
• “I’m having a hard time in my relationship.”
• “I’ve been more anxious lately, and it’s starting to affect work.”
• “Something happened in my family, and I’m having trouble dealing with it.”
• “My teen has been having some issues lately.”
• “My child’s grades have been slipping.”
• “My child’s teacher recommended therapy because of some behaviors they’ve been noticing.”

Notice that none of those statements requires a diagnosis.

You don’t need to call and say, “I believe I meet the diagnostic criteria for generalized anxiety disorder.”

You can just tell us what you’re experiencing.

Describe it the same way you might describe it to someone you know.

Why Does the Scheduling Team Need to Know What I’m Struggling With?

At Dr. Goldberg & Associates, we have more than 100 therapists, and they don’t all treat the same concerns or practice therapy in the same way.

When we’re helping someone find a therapist, the first thing we’re looking at is whether the provider has experience with the concerns that person wants to address.

We want to get the match right the first time whenever possible.

If you tell us you’re struggling with anxiety, for example, we can look for providers with experience treating anxiety. If you tell us you’re a military service member or Veteran and would prefer someone familiar with military experiences, that’s helpful information too.

The same is true if you tell us you want someone who is more direct, would feel more comfortable with a provider of a particular gender, have an age preference, need greater scheduling flexibility, or have had a previous experience in therapy that didn’t work for you.

You don’t have to disclose every detail for us to help you.

But the more relevant information we have about what you’re looking for, the more personalized our recommendations can be.

What Questions Will I Be Asked When Booking Therapy?

Knowing what to expect can make that first conversation much less intimidating.

When a new patient contacts Dr. Goldberg & Associates, our team may ask questions such as:

• Are you interested in therapy, medication management, psychological testing, or a combination of services?
• What insurance do you have?
• What are you hoping to work on with your provider?
• What days and times work best for you?
• Would you prefer in-person therapy or telehealth?
• If you prefer in-person appointments, which office location works best for you?
• If you’re interested in telehealth, what state will you be located in during your appointments?
• Are you experiencing thoughts of harming yourself or someone else?
• Have you previously been hospitalized for a mental health condition? If so, when were you most recently discharged?
• Are there legal matters for which you would want your provider to become involved or testify?

Some of those questions can feel more personal than others.

It’s important to understand why we’re asking them.

Questions about safety, previous hospitalization, legal involvement, and the concerns bringing you to treatment aren’t designed to judge you or automatically prevent you from receiving services. That information can help us determine whether a provider has the appropriate experience for your needs, particularly when someone may need a clinician comfortable working with higher-acuity or more complex situations.

If you’re uncomfortable discussing exactly what you’re experiencing, you can tell us that. Just keep in mind that having less information may limit how precisely we can match you with a provider.

If you are experiencing an immediate mental health emergency or believe you may harm yourself or someone else, call 911, contact 988, or go to the nearest emergency room.

What If I Don’t Know Whether I Need Therapy, Medication, or Testing?

You don’t have to know.

This is another area where people sometimes put unnecessary pressure on themselves.

You don’t need to understand the entire mental health system before you’re allowed to ask for help.

When you contact us, we’ll ask whether you’re interested in therapy, medication management, psychological testing, or a combination of services. If you aren’t sure, tell us.

Our team can help you think through your options.

You may also receive more than one service at the same time. For example, some patients participate in therapy while also seeing a psychiatric provider for medication management.

If you’re seeking greater diagnostic clarity, psychological testing may also be an option.

Do I Need to Know My Diagnosis Before Starting Therapy?

No.

I would actually encourage people not to worry too much about having the right diagnosis when they make their first call.

Instead, ask yourself:

What am I experiencing?

Maybe you’re worried all the time. Maybe you’re exhausted. Maybe you’re having trouble concentrating at work. Perhaps you don’t enjoy things the way you used to. Maybe you and your partner keep having the same argument. Or perhaps your child is struggling at school and you don’t know why.

Tell us that.

Your therapist can learn more about your symptoms and experiences once treatment begins. If you’re specifically seeking a formal diagnosis or more comprehensive diagnostic clarification, our team can also help you explore psychological testing.

Do I Need to Choose My Own Therapist?

No—and this is something I really want prospective patients to know.

You certainly can look through provider profiles and request someone who interests you, but you don’t have to figure out which therapist to see by yourself.

Our administrative team works with our providers every day. We know their specialties, but we also get to know their personalities, treatment styles, schedules, and the types of patients with whom they may connect particularly well.

That gives us information that isn’t always obvious from the letters after someone’s name or a short website bio.

When you contact us, you can ask:

“Based on what I’ve told you, who would you recommend?”

That’s part of what we’re here to help you figure out.

Does It Matter Whether My Therapist Is a Psychologist, Counselor, or Social Worker?

It’s completely reasonable to have preferences about your provider’s credentials.

At the same time, I encourage patients to remain open to recommendations when appropriate.

I once worked with a patient who specifically wanted to see a psychologist. We scheduled the patient with one, but after the appointment, it became clear that the match wasn’t right because of differences in personality and style.

I asked more questions about what the patient liked and didn’t like about the experience. Based on that information, I recommended another provider with different credentials and essentially asked the patient to trust me on the recommendation.

They ended up loving their new provider.

That experience has stuck with me because it illustrates something important:

Credentials and appropriate clinical training matter, but the letters after someone’s name don’t necessarily determine whether you’ll connect with that person.

When choosing among appropriately qualified providers, specialty, experience, personality, therapeutic approach, and the connection you develop can all matter.

What If I Don’t Know My Therapy Goals Yet?

That’s okay too.

You don’t need to show up for your first appointment with a perfectly written list of treatment goals.

You and your therapist can develop those together.

You may begin therapy with something as broad as:

“I just want to feel like myself again.”

As you and your therapist learn more about what’s happening, you can begin identifying more specific goals and determining what progress might look like for you.

Similarly, you don’t necessarily need to decide how often you should attend therapy before starting. We generally recommend beginning with weekly appointments, but treatment frequency is ultimately a clinical conversation between you and your provider based on your individual needs.

What Should I Ask About the Cost of Therapy?

Please ask about money.

Financial viability is an important part of deciding whether therapy is something you can realistically begin and maintain. There is no reason to feel embarrassed about asking what treatment may cost.

At Dr. Goldberg & Associates, we start by asking about your insurance coverage. If we aren’t in-network with your plan, we can discuss potential out-of-pocket costs.

With insurance, the exact patient responsibility isn’t always immediately available. We will typically learn the copay or other patient responsibility after the first claim is processed by the insurance company. However, if knowing your expected responsibility before your appointment is important to you, our billing team can look into your benefits more specifically.

You can also contact your insurance company directly.

Before beginning therapy, consider asking:

• Do you accept my insurance?
• Can you tell me what my copay or coinsurance might be?
• Do I have a deductible?
• What would therapy cost if my insurance doesn’t cover it?
• Are there any other fees I should know about?

Understanding the financial side of treatment can help you make an informed decision about your care.

What If My First Therapist Isn’t a Good Fit?

Tell us.

A therapist mismatch can be disappointing, especially if you’ve already worked up the courage to start therapy. But it also gives us valuable information.

Instead of thinking, “Therapy doesn’t work for me,” ask yourself:

What didn’t I like about the experience?

And just as importantly:

What did I like?

Maybe you wanted someone more conversational. Maybe the therapist wasn’t direct enough. Maybe you wanted more structure. Perhaps their personality simply didn’t click with yours.

If you’re comfortable doing so, you can even talk with your therapist about what isn’t working.

A good therapist should be working toward your best interests. If their particular approach isn’t the best way forward, they may be able to help you understand what you’re looking for or recommend another treatment approach.

For example, you may discover that the type of treatment matters. Someone receiving CBT may find that another approach—such as DBT, ACT, or EMDR—is more appropriate for what they want to address.

Sometimes you know immediately that the connection isn’t there. Other times, you’re simply unsure after the first appointment.

If you’re uncertain, giving the relationship a few sessions may help. But if it still isn’t clicking, reach out.

Finding the wrong therapist does not mean you’re “unhelpable.”

The mental health field is broad. There are many types of therapists, personalities, specialties, and treatment approaches. Sometimes finding the right combination requires some trial and error.

Is My Problem “Bad Enough” for Therapy?

This is one misconception I would love to see disappear.

Although the stigma surrounding mental health treatment continues to decrease, some people still believe therapy is only for individuals with severe mental illness.

It isn’t.

Therapy can certainly be an important part of treating significant mental health conditions. But it can also help you improve your relationships, navigate a transition, cope with stress, understand patterns in your life, develop healthier habits, work toward personal goals, or simply function better in your everyday life.

You don’t have to wait until you’re falling apart to ask for support.

A Simple Script for Calling a Therapist

If you’ve read this entire article because you’re trying to figure out exactly what to say, here’s your script:

“Hi, I’m interested in starting therapy. I’ve been dealing with [briefly describe what’s happening], and I’d like some help finding a therapist who might be a good fit. I have [insurance], and I’m available [days/times]. I’d prefer [in-person/telehealth]. I’m not completely sure what type of therapy I need, so I’d appreciate some recommendations.”

And if even that feels like too much, use the shorter version:

“Hi, I’d like to start therapy, but I’m not really sure where to begin.”

That’s enough.

You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out Before You Call

If you’ve been staring at the phone, writing and deleting an email, or repeatedly looking through therapist profiles because you don’t know what you’re supposed to say, I want you to know that you don’t need to prepare the perfect explanation.

We’re glad you reached out.

We know it can take courage to make that first contact. That’s why our team is here to guide you through the process and answer your questions.

You’ve already done the hard part: you picked up the phone, wrote the email, or submitted the request.

From there, we’ll ask you some questions. Answer them as honestly as you feel comfortable, and we’ll work together to find someone who may be able to support you.

Don’t be afraid to start.

You never know where that first conversation might take you.

Frequently Asked Questions About Booking Therapy

What should I say when calling to book therapy?

You can simply say that you’re interested in starting therapy and briefly describe what you’ve been experiencing. You don’t need to know your diagnosis or the type of therapy you need. Statements such as “I’ve been overwhelmed lately,” “I don’t feel like myself,” or “I’m having trouble in my relationship” can provide enough information to begin the conversation.

Do I have to tell the receptionist why I need therapy?

You don’t have to share your entire story with administrative staff. However, providing some general information about what you’re experiencing can help the scheduling team identify therapists whose specialties and experience fit your needs. You can also tell the team if there are details you aren’t comfortable discussing until you meet your therapist.

Do I need a diagnosis before I make a therapy appointment?

No. You don’t need to know your diagnosis before starting therapy. Describe what you’re experiencing in your own words. Your provider can work with you to better understand your concerns, and psychological testing may be available when formal diagnostic clarification is needed.

What questions should I ask before booking a therapist?

Consider asking whether the provider accepts your insurance, what your estimated financial responsibility may be, whether appointments are available at times that work for you, whether telehealth or in-person appointments are offered, and whether the therapist has experience with the concerns you want to address. You can also ask the scheduling team for personalized provider recommendations.

What if I choose the wrong therapist?

Choosing a therapist who isn’t the right fit doesn’t mean therapy won’t work for you. Think about what you liked and disliked about the experience and share that information with the scheduling team. It can help them recommend someone whose personality, specialty, treatment style, or approach may be a better match.

Ready to Get Started?

Dr. Goldberg & Associates can help connect you with a therapist based on your concerns, preferences, insurance, location, and scheduling needs.

You don’t need to know which provider you want to see or exactly what type of treatment you need before contacting us.

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